Women are ravenous readers when it comes to reading the thoughts of our men.
We can listen to what a guy is saying, and figure out in an instant, or at the very least after long conversation with our best friend, what he really meant to say. Reading between the lines. The art of making what a guy said more meaningful than it really was. For the most part women find it hard to believe that a man simply means what he said and nothing more. We are emotionally deep creatures and we assume that guys are exactly the same.
But for the most part men say what they mean and mean what they say. They don’t hold back their emotions because they hope that we will dig deeper. They don’t want women to unearth their true feelings because they are too afraid of to do it themselves. They don’t want to go through the long ordeal of conversation in order to get to the bottom of their emotional life, they just want to tell you what they want to tell you and to be done with it.
There was a time when I watched my man closely, dissecting what I thought he was thinking or feeling, and then responding based on what I deduced from that, and not just his words. I would make decisions only to find out that my assessment of what he was really thinking was totally wrong. I would get angry because I thought he was angry. Frustrated when I thought he was frustrated, and my emotional life was blown and tossed about by the wind of what I imagined his emotional life to be. But when I let go of my need to figure out what he was thinking, and instead to accept what he was saying, I started to make more rational and stable decisions. And not only did my life improve, but so did his, because he didn’t have to deal with my emotional roller-coaster anymore.
Have you been reading more into your man’s words than is there? Don’t lie to yourself about what he’s thinking. If he’s thinking something and he wants you to know about it then he’ll tell you. Any attempt to predict or unearth his true emotions only leads to frustration, bitterness, anger and co-miseration. He doesn’t need you to join in on his perceived emotional state or to brood over his unexplained feelings. The smart woman lets her man feel whatever he feels. Then turns her emotional life over to God. She lets your feelings be established on His faithfulness and peace, and not her perceptions of her man’s emotional state. Then she is not blown around by circumstances, but remains firmly rooted in faith.
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